Who are you? What do you do?

So many of us define ourselves and others by what we do. You know, "I'm a plumber, painter, lawyer... [insert other profession here]". Up until a year ago I was a public servant, a policy officer, but I kind of hit a wall. Partly it was having been in Canberra for seven years. I remember when I first moved there people said to me "Once you've lived in Canberra seven years you never leave." I laughed at the time, thinking there was no way I was going to be in Canberra that long. So when I got to the seven year mark last March, I started to ask myself "Is this it?" "Is this how I want the rest of my life to be?"

I knew I didn't want to live in Canberra the rest of my life. This isn't a Canberra bagging session, don't worry, I just knew it wasn't my type of place. So I determined that I would move back to Melbourne within twelve months. Knowing that I couldn't do the same sort of job in Melbourne made me question my job too, and my career direction, and before I knew it I decided that the career I was pursuing - policy and international development - just didn't interest me anymore. I was over it. It sounds callous, and I know these are very worthy, as well as interesting, jobs. But I was getting burnt out by Canberra politicking and by having the same development arguments (what works? Does anything work? Why?) that I'd had for ten years or so. I wanted to spread my wings a bit more, and explore other aspects of myself that might lead to a more fulfilling job.

I knew I wanted to try something more creative, aesthetically, but what? After musing for a few months, I chose textile design. I applied for a course, was accepted, and started only a few months later. Suddenly I was a poor student again, living with my parents in my old family home, buying clothes in op shops and working longer and longer hours on my homework.  I missed my apartment, my weekends, that sense of knowing and being confident about my work. And mostly I wondered why I was flogging myself in a course that I wasn't even sure I wanted to be doing. I realised after talking to several very clever people that I hadn't given myself a lot of time to pick a new career, to really work out what I wanted to do.

So for the next chapter of my adventure, I've decided to take some time off. I'm going to India to do a bit of soul searching... a la Eat Pray Love. It is exciting, and most people I talk to are envious of me having this opportunity.

But it's also scary. I've known what I wanted to do for so long, that being in this limbo state is disconcerting. Now when people ask me what I do, I don't know what to say, apart from giving them a shortened version of the above and ending with an uncertain "…so I guess I'll just have to see how I go." As much as we grumble about our jobs, they give us a sense of our place in the world, and of the contribution we make. Take that away and we are a whole lot of ideas, saddled with lots of furniture and probably too many pieces of clothing.

Who knows where this chapter will take me? Most days I feel quite zen about it. I'm willing to wait for a while and see what happens.

New year, new adventures

Something very exciting is happening in 2012. I am departing the public service, moving cities, and starting a Bachelor of Textile Design! Textile design is about designing the appearance and texture of fabrics used in everything from clothing, home furnishings, wallpaper and car interiors to packaging.

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to my change of career. Although the prospect of having little to no income is a bit terrifying, I am really happy about the decision I've made. In fact, you can't wipe the smile off my face at the moment.

A lot of people look at a change of career as going back to the start again. Regressing to a confused 17 year old staring into a dim and uncertain future. But we are the sum of all our experiences. We all take the knowledge and skills we have into any course or career that we choose. I'll be a wiser student, milking every drop from every class. And I'll bring my skills to my new job, those that you need everywhere, like managing people and managing projects.

If you're thinking about a change of career, I'd encourage you to take it seriously. Take some time - I took a year - and think about all your options. The experts say your career should align with your values in life, so you might want to start thinking about that too. And talk to a career counsellor! I have found them very helpful.

So here's to a new year, new career. May it be filled with excitement, adventure, and lots of creativity!